Dark Passenger: Unassuming (#15)

My venture into the Leather Community required study, but I'm more of an "on the job" participant. I explored some of the basics including tying men up and spanking. At the time, the Washington, D.C., area contained multiple men who allowed me a more academic learning experience where I could indulge any and all interests.

One of these boys indulged me repeatedly. However, his ultimate fantasy turned out to be one I could not grant. He wanted to be a "puppy."

Just put "puppy play" in quotes into any search engine and you'll come up with plenty of results. I had a dog at the time and, well, I treated by real canine well. I would say a human companion of the puppy persuasion needs more attention and discipline than what I was willing to give.

Moreover, puppy boy wouldn't indulge me in my particular desire — barebacking. Even then, the barebacking movement seemed in its infancy. While I got plenty of raw ass — some of which I wrote about in the "Deceptively Fun" series — the darker side of my sexual nature couldn't be divulged. Even as I experimented with this world, I had not yet reconciled my true urges when it came to fucking.

While I fucked plenty of submissives, I found most focused on their own fetishes and desires. As much as the submissive man would tell me it was about the Dominant, I found compatibility tended to be required.

"What are you into?" may be a standard question, but in the Leather world, the question seemed to be, "What are your limits?"

Limits turned out to be plenty among these so-called submissives. "Scat" and "blood" were understandable. Others not so much. I loved hearing, "No permanent marks."

And for every ass-wipe that said he had no limits, a few questions later I'd discover what limits truly existed. And there were usually plenty.

For those of you unfamiliar with some of the nomenclature of this realm, I'll give you the basics.

A "Sir" is a Dominant who will collar a "boy" submissive. One of the most entertaining aspects of this relationship is the sense that a "boy" can be any age. As someone in my mid-30s at the time, I found myself inundated with requests from mid-40s and early-50s men begging to be my "boy."

As one Sir explained to me once, boys deserve to be respected.

A boy could set limits and the Sir would generally honor those limits. In other words, boys would have rights.

While I did entertain the Sir/boy combination, what I found more intriguing was the ultimate: Master/slave.

Slaves did not get respect. Slaves could not have limits. Slaves served their Master no matter the request.

Over the course of my time, I owned and trained one slave. Moreover, I would train three boys as a Sir and have a wide variety of play experiences, for which I will explore in upcoming entries.

As I reflect on my time in this microcosm of gayness, I'd say that I held back. Even during my Leather experimentation, few men ever saw the fierce punishment I could lash upon their psyche. When you add the underlying violence that occasionally urged my sadistic side, no one went completely into my darkness.

A darkness that still lurks deep within me.